There a certain level of finesse and a number of techniques beyond just sticking your dick into a bottoms ass that make someone a good top. Good topping takes a lot of patience, a mentality, some physical strength and a fairly hard dick.
The mentality is a balance between your pleasure and your bottom’s pleasure. A good top knows that focusing on his partner’s desires can deliver pleasurable rewards for both of you.
1 Relax Your Bottom Partner Take time to open your bottom up with your fingers and a toy. Asses aren’t designed for entry and aren’t relaxed and expanded in its natural state, so penetration can be quite painful for your bottom if his sphincter muscles aren’t relaxed. It’s easier for him to relax his sphincter muscles if he is relaxed. To relax your bottom, start with foreplay and a mixture of firm and light touch and kisses. If he’s into it, let him give you oral. Meanwhile, explore his waist, butt, and anus. Try massaging his perineum or lightly penetrating him with a lubricated finger or toy. Read his body language and focus your attention on areas that help his entire body loosen. Listen to his breathing and verbal cues. Let him and his body guide you to the right areas.
2 Entering for the first time Go slow! Try using a dildo. Use lots of lube. LOTS! Once you can slide the toy in and out slowly with little or no pain. Try putting your cock in. Push your dick slowly in his asshole, just a little bit. Then pull out. While you wait for your bottom’s asshole to relax, play with your dick so it doesn’t go soft. Enter again, slowly. This time go a little further. Repeat this until your bottom stops feeling pain and your cock is all the way in and your balls are resting on his ass.
3 Let Him Guide You, Then Take Control Increase his eagerness by focusing on his relaxation. Let your bottom guide you in, then take control when he is ready. Remember that the anal cavity isn’t an endless cavern. Start slow and ease penetration. Be patient and develop your rhythm before increasing your depth and speed. Again, listen to his body language and verbal cues. Does he tense up or relax certain speed and certain depths?
4 Orgasm Tell your bottom you are getting ready to cum and tell him when you are cumming, this ads in communication for mutual pleasure.
5 Post-Orgasm Urinate. It’s good for your urithra, and prevents infection. It’s also a good idea to wash your dick and balls with soap and water right after. This can prevent transmission of some STIs.
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General Tips for tops
When you are not in him, play with your dick. This will keep it hard so your are ready when needed. This is important for older tops
Make sure your bottom cleans his ass out.
Find a lube you like. It should be thick enough that your bottom’s ass isn’t hurting or chafing. There are hundreds and they are all different.
As with most things, in general, start slow and shallow, then over time, go deeper and faster, until you climax.
A good long term goal is to aim for and achieve climax at the same time. Both reaching the orgasm makes it a shared experience Some even have a sense of merging at the moment of orgasm.
Good Topping Good topping is more than just fucking hard and cumming quick. It’s not fucking really fast, It’s not going really deep. To keep your bottom wanting more, develop your technique.
Polite Topping Tips
When you finally enter start slow. Don’t slide all the way in, first thing. Tease his asshole by sliding the head of your cock in and out. Slide a little deeper every three thrusts. Then two shallow thrusts.
Fuck him methodically slow and deep.
Tell your bottom (warn him) when you are getting close.
Tell your bottom when you are going to cum.
Ask if it’s ok to cum in him, when there’s no condom.
When you finish, make sure he finishes, do everything you can to continue until he finishes. When you are done, pull out slow.
If he finishes before you ask if it’s ok to continue.
Basic beginner positions
Position: Inverse Missionary / Cowboy
You lie on your back and spread your legs. The bottom slides down your cock while facing you. The bottom is in control of depth and speed. It’s also good for giving a tired top a rest.
Benefits: Easy to try. Easy entry. Rest for the top. Bottom is in complete control. Deep low velocity penetration. Easy on your knees.
Suggestions: Hold your bottoms hips for control and contact. Touch his legs and chest. Tell him how good it feels to be in him. Relax and let yourself moan, when it feels good.
Warnings: Trying to kissing him will cause the bottoms rectal muscles to flex pushing your dick out of his ass with amazing force.
Position: Leg Glider This position is a similar setup to the jockey. The bottom is face down spreading his legs, except one leg is straight and the other is bent toward his chest. Bending the bottoms leg up makes it easy for you to slide your cock straight in his ass. It also moves his butt cheek to the side further exposing his hole, allowing you to penetrate deeper.
Benefits: Easy to try. Easy entry. You are in control.
Suggestions: Tell him how good it feels to be in him. Relax and let yourself moan when it feels good.
Position: Side by Side Both of you lie side by side with one guy behind the other, both facing in the same direction. This position allows you to relax and you have your hands free to explore each other’s bodies. Also entry is easy and fairly deep, and the bottom doesn’t have to support his partner’s weight. You can also thrust vigorously during sex in this position. The side by side sex position is a good one for intimate connection and both partners can move their hips. As in all gay anal sex, the longer it goes on, the more relaxed will be the receiving partner’s anus, so that deeper penetration and thrusting becomes progressively easier as sex goes on. There is the potential for a strong emotional connection with side by side sex.
Benefits: Easy to try. Easy entry. You are in control. Slow deep penetration.
Suggestions: Hold your bottoms sides to gain thrusting force. bend your legs in to his. Hold him tight. Tell him how good it feels to be in him. Relax and let yourself moan when it feels good.
Warnings: Straightening your bottoms legs will push your dick out of his ass. So keep them bent. side by side video
Position: Jockey Your bottom lies on his stomach with his legs spread, you lie on top of him face down with your legs spread wider. Try to balance your weight between your arms and knees and feet. Slide your cock in your bottom. Use both sets of legs to push off of each other to gain momentum and driving force. A strong ab and butt will enable you to thrust with more force.
Benefits: Easy to try.
Suggestions: Try to kissing him. Tell him how good it feels to be in him. Relax and let yourself moan when it feels good.
Warnings: Resting your weight on your bottom will cause you to lose all momentum and control. Your ability to thrust will evaporate, and the angle of your cock will change just enough to make it very easy to for your bottom’s ass to push you right out.
Position: Classic-Missionary To start out kneeling facing your bottom. The bottom is on his back with his butt just inches from your cock. The bottom starts by putting his ankles on your shoulders. As you lean forward transfer some of your weight from your knees to your arm, use the other arm to guide your cock in the bottoms asshole. Once you are in balls deep, start to work a slow constant rhythm. If everything is comfortable, just continue thrusting. If you aren’t as hard as a 20 yo, stopping, shifting, or change position might cause your dick to pop out while your bottoms ass is still very tight. So this is a very tender period for older tops. Just relax enjoy, and feel the pleasure your bottom’s ass is giving your dick. Strong arms are needed to hold your self up while you unweight and thrust with your lower half.
Benefits: Easy to try. Good entry angle.
Suggestions: Put a pillow or rolled towel under his sacrum to elevate his asshole giving you cock a slightly better entry angle. Tell him how good it feels to be in him. Relax and let yourself moan when it feels good.
Warnings: Kissing will be a bit of a strain, but not bad.
Position Folding Deck Chair (Modified Classic-Missionary) The missionary quickly becomes the folding deck chair by locking the bottoms legs down with your upper arms.
Benefits: Good entry angle. Amazing access to your bottoms asshole. Deep powerful and fast penetration possible. easy to kiss, lots of body and eye contact.
Suggestions: Put a pillow or rolled towel under his sacrum to elevate your bottom’s asshole giving you cock a slightly better entry angle. Tell him how good it feels to be in him. Relax and let yourself moan when it feels good.
Warnings: Kissing will be a bit of a strain, but not bad.